Pollution is not an Illusion

First, let me say that this post has no research in it or sources or stats etc. It is my opinion. It also, in my view, happens to make perfect sense, so bear with me here.

Some people say that Climate Change is real. Some people say it isn't. Some people who say Climate Change is real say it is caused by human activity, some say it isn't.

My verdict is as follows:

It does not matter. The argument about cause is just a game of semantics. Believers of Climate Change are trying to be logical and scientific in an effort to affect change. They are getting desperate. They cannot understand why others are unwilling to accept the facts and forecasts.

Deniers, at whatever level are using political arguments and whatever method of obfuscation they can think of to avoid having to change the status quo and endanger their lucrative personal interests. They are being obtuse at a level never before seen in human history.

When the room is messy, and the child goes, I did not make the mess so I'm not cleaning it up. You cannot prove that I am responsible for the mess or that the mess is real. Does the mother say, OK, let's leave it then, I'm sure it will sort itself out. You keep playing over there.
No. We clean up.

What I am saying is, it does not actually matter who made the mess and what you call the mess, or how you feel about the mess.

POLLUTION IS NOT AN ILLUSION.

The oceans are riddled with plastic. Animals eat it or get tangled and trapped in it. They die from it.

The air is dirty and, in some places, unbreathable. You can literally see the air hovering over big cities. you are not supposed to be able to see the air. It is disgusting and stinky.

Water is contaminated in some places, as is the ground. Not everyone cares about the water. Some factories just drain whatever toxic chemical they have used to process their products into the nearest convenient body of water.

There are lovely and beautiful places. there are gross places. But they all have one thing in common. They are on the same planet, so, inevitably, they will have an impact on each other.

Also, and I cannot stress this strongly enough - Animals of all kinds have equal rights to the planet as humans. They are entitled to live. In fact, I believe that wild animals have more right to the world than a of us.

So deforestation is a devastating mistake. Fishing places to emptiness, equally so.

It is all fine and well for individuals to do all they can to mitigate their own impact, but it will not make any difference if the supermarkets keep selling you vegetables in non-recyclable plastic for no reason.

I do not understand the refusal of some companies and countries to reduce their impact, even as a just in case measure. The up-side is a cleaner world. It should be a no-brainer.

Yay, we banned straws. What an achievement. Fast food places are now using paper, non-recyclable ones. Good job Government.

There is no reason that people should not be more environmentally aware and considerate. There are no downsides to taking action against Climate Change, whether you believe in it or not.

Every company should be compelled to do an Annual Impact Audit and receive an Environmental Impact Score (EIS). There should be a financial incentive for reducing the EIS and a Tax penalty for going over the company's allowance or quota.

How fast do you think every high-rise building will put up solar panels and use electric cars as standard. How many companies will only do business with companies who meet the impact rating. Just look at Affirmative Action implementation in South Africa.

Try it and see how creative people can be. And how pervasive it will become.

Okay. I'm done. Think about it. That's all I'm saying. Maybe do something.

Happy New Year etc.
Bye

An Opinion On Skincare Reviews by Makeup Artists On YouTube

So today I watched a YouTube skincare review video by Jefree Star. 

Now, Jefree is a controversial and entertaining YouTube star and cosmetics entrepreneur. He is also very talented when it comes to makeup.

As an aside, I also belong to a few Facebook groups that share their passion for makeup and have watched more than a few YouTube makeup channels. 

All of these have one thing in common, two actually; the first is they know their makeup and are a good source of information and inspiration (also aspiration and temptation, but that's another post altogether) about makeup; the second is that, in general,  they know less than fuck all about skincare. 

No offence to these lovely people, but please stay in your lane. Every time I see skincare advice by makeup people on either Facebook or YouTube I just cringe and my fingers twitch, wanting to comment, despite the obvious futility of it (I generally end up keeping my opinions to myself).

I was glad to see that one of my mentors (in my mind), Caroline Hirons, reviewed the same newly launched skincare products, so I did get a real, rather more accurate view on the products (which I would ever buy, by the way, not that it's relevant).

Now, I am not saying that makeup channels should not review skincare at all. What I am saying is they may want to try to learn some of the fundamentals and know a few things or at the very least, make it clear to their viewers that skincare is not their thing (although, it should be pretty obvious). They don't need to be experts but seriously, Jefree, why are you using wipes as makeup removers? Your poor face! 

Having said that, Shane Dawson, who was in the video with Jefree, did make the disclaimer that he was reviewing as a consumer, therefore, inferring that he was not an authority on the subject, but was trying products and giving his feedback on how they felt, which is perfectly sound. 

I suppose, as long as people don't take their skincare advice from makeup artists, it's all good. As Sam and Nick from Pixiwoo are known to say, they are 'rubbish at skincare', although they aren't  actually that bad. In fact many beauty gurus on UK YouTube have learned and taken advice from Caroline and improved their skincare and the advice they give. 

As for me, I am certainly not an authority,  and I should not fret over the skins of strangers, but hearing people recommend scrubs to acneic skins makes me wince.

Also I have no room to talk because at the moment, I am a hypocrite and do not practice what I preach because my routine is non-existent and my skincare is sitting on the shelf above my head slowly turning in its tubes. For shame!

As a final word, I would like to say that I have learned to love Jefree Starr and his flamboyant style. It makes me smile.

That is all. 

Good night.

Home for the Holidays

This Easter break has been a challenge. Day 1 mainly involved my kids getting colds and delightfully contagious eye infections resulting in quarantine induced boredom and borderline insanity (for me at least). I guess I have become accustomed to the quiet calm of Liora's school time.

I can't complain though. She is incredible. And it's not her fault. I could have entertained her better but I just have no energy at the moment. And I am now ill too (so is Mr. C). I'm achy and grumpy and my left ear is totally blocked. Charming.

This past week has been particularly hard because of Angelica's birthday and the painful anniversary which followed. She would have been 5. Oh, how my girls would have frolicked together.

We bought her a little fairy statue as we do every year. It should arrive soon.

Mr C. Worked from home, which helped a lot.

I cannot begin to explain how difficult it is to wrap your mind around it all. I can't even type the words.

Happy birthday my sweetheart.

On Angelica's birthday, we got our acceptance letter for Liora's school place. I was so relieved that we got into our first choice. Now at least I that one particular stress of not knowing can be forgotten, replaced by planning for her next adventure.

On the self care side of things, I have felt mostly better after some meaningful breakthroughs in therapy (it was really quite transformative).

They haven't been translated into healthier lifestyle choices and a more organised life by any means, but is is a step in the right direction.

I may have mentioned that I bought retinol when we moved. Well, until tonight, I never had the guts to use it. I have started using it already. It is very gentle. I did and it was fine. I don't know what I was expecting to happen, but its all good. I also managed to buy a little friend for my retinol; Garden of Wisdom Vitamin C cream. I have used it and it is very nice. 

I will report back in due course. 

Catch Up Time

With moving and settling in, I put the blog to sleep for a bit, but fear not, I am still here.

Liora had her 3 year old vaccinations this week and was very brave about the whole thing. I also met with her teachers who gave very positive feedback on her development. I was rather anxious about it and her fitting in to a new school, but all my fears were allayed.

Imogen had her 12 month review and did equally well. She is turning ONE in three weeks. It is unfathomable. We are not doing a big party; just some family time, because she literally won't care. She is 1 and is super attached to mommy and daddy right now, so we figure, just enjoy being together and seeing her eat cake for the first time.

I am struggling with my eating and my mood, although the last few weeks have been better. My low moods seem to ebb and flow like a tide and at the moment, my brain is on reasonably good behaviour. There are low moments, but I manage them. I have recently undergone some very helpful therapy, so my self-esteem issues are under control too. I won't say I am cured of the self-loathing... let's say I'm in remission. Yeah. I like that. It is as accurate a description as I can give.

The food thing, though... man! I don't know. That's a monster I can't seem to beat. Maybe when my mother in law comes, she will be able to help me get on the right path.

I'll figure it out. For the moment. I am just enjoying the feeling of not hating myself all the time. It's weird, I can't say I like myself yet, but I'll get there.

Rome was not built in a day.

Yesterday, I managed to wash my hair and that is the biggest win of all.

Good night.

New House Chaos is Okay by Me

We have been in the house for month now and we are enjoying it quite a lot. For starters, it is much  warmer than the old house and the configuration of the space works much better for us as well.

When it comes to settling in, the struggle is real.

Every room is kind of there, but not quite. There are still so many clothes to sort through, which I honestly don't always have the energy for. The play room / study is a mess which I am making progress with, but it is far from perfect. The kitchen is pretty much there with just a few things we are not sure we are happy with so we may or may not move them around at some point. 

I am not overly bothered by the whole thing, mainly because my kids are fine. I wish I could find a space for every item and have everything perfect, but I am not that woman. I doubt I will ever have an Instagram or Pinterest house. 

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be that; to show everyone that we are together and on the ball. Growing up, it was keeping up with the Jones's and now-a-days it's keeping up with the impossible standards created by the curated content of social media. Life is not curated, and should not be. It should be lived and enjoyed. 

I struggle with the emotional roller coaster created by my brain so everyday life is not always easy for me but loving my daughters and feeling eternally lucky to have them is the easiest, most healing thing and it makes even the most challenging moments better. They have taught me what happiness feels like so I know what to strive for. I go through ups and downs, but lately I have started to feel much better, and although I have always struggled with self-esteem and self-image, the self-loathing is currently at quite a low ebb. It feels amazing to not despise oneself. I think Mr C is also very happy about it cos it really upsets him when I am unkind to myself.

One of the things that has actually helped me, although I did find watching it quite triggering, was a series called My Mad Fat Diary. Another thing that has helped immeasurably is actually getting help in the form of counselling through the NHS. It has helped kick off the transformation in how I perceive myself by allowing me to realise that others don't see me as I do. It was quite the revelation. 

Life is full of distorted perceptions and social media seems to be working at full tilt to perpetuate the distortion all in the name of driving consumer demand. Apparently it is not enough that we like nice things and enjoy shopping sometimes. We need to feel desperately inadequate without the accoutrements and thus feel compelled to buy the latest statement piece that in reality, says very little about you.

I am happy with my little life, even though today chaos reigns. There will always be a little bit of mess and a lot of crazy, and I think I am okay with that. 

That is all.

A New Breakfast Spot

My family and I love going out for a bit of breakfast on a weekend, so naturally, there is nothing more delightful than taking a chance on a new cafe and discovering a gem.

That is what happened this morning.

Although we moved house within the same borough, we did move across town, so we have had the opportunity to explore some new breakfast spots more local to us.

This morning, we decided to check Google maps for a suggestion and it led us to Wendover Cafe.

Let me just say, we were impressed. this place ticked so many boxes. Spacious and clean, warm and attentive staff, good food variety and quality.

Our timing was excellent since after we ordered, an out-the-door queue seemed to just form. The servers are pretty efficient though, so it vanished as quickly as it appeared.

Our food came in good time and tasted quite nice. We had an English breakfast and although we enjoyed it, we will not be having it again for a while, not because of anything wrong with it, but because of all the delicious alternatives we are excited to try. Yum.

Like the continental breakfast for example, which, because the place is essentially Italian, is a platter of Italian antipasti - cold meats, cheeses and olives. Double yum.

Other fare, displayed enticingly in glass cabinets includes a variety of frittatas, pastries and omelettes. And that's apart from the pasta options. So many yums.

My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

This place is a winner!!!

Life Update

February was not an easy month.

We moved house.

Just across town so we could be as close as possible to the school we want Liora to go to.

With packing up all our stuff, the girls being quite ill over half-term (and beyond), and the 10 month old going through some teething (she did not want to be put down - Ever - which meant that I had to do everything one handed), things did not go super smoothly.

But we are in. We made it. And I have managed to just unpack the essentials - Kitchen, kids’ clothes, bathrooms, and now my computer.

Despite taking a slow road to unpacking, things are slowly taking shape. The new house is still in chaos but the neighbourhood is lovely. Liora is settling in to her new school, which is 187 metres from our house (a 2 minute walk to the gate - Love it!). We are in walking distance to a children's centre for Imogen to go to baby groups.

With one thing and another, the blog has taken a little bit of a back seat to life again but I did not want to stay away too long, hence he teeny tiny update.

PS. what's with all the Retinol focus on YouTube et al?

I have dipped a toe into that band wagon as well with a recent and as yet unopened Retinol product from Indeed Labs.

We’ll talk about that later.

Bye for now.

Happy Birthday to My Blog

This week, my blog turned 6.

SIX!

I just can't even compute that.

Being me, I immediately set about reproaching myself for wasting so much time and letting my depression, lack of confidence and lack of focus etc get in the way of making this blog more successful. We all have our flaws and quirks and I have a powerful penchant for self-recrimination, but then I actually gave it an extra second's thought and realised what I have actually been through in the last 6 years and how miraculous it is that this blog still even exists. I also, with a dash of speed, stopped thinking about the last six years with any degree of depth, because frankly it’s all a bit too much to bear right now. I did, however, decide to give myself a break for a change and accept things as they are.

I am desperately trying to keep the blog regular and post at least once in a week but my depression is very strong right now, so I am trying not to put any pressure on myself; also there is a lot going on.

At the moment, I am attempting to parent two children, one of whom is three years old and likes to walk on the wild side. I think she is part little girl, part crazy-witchdoctor-pirate-banshee. The other one is nine months old and crawling everywhere and putting everything in her mouth. Today was Liora's last day at her preschool. Next week is half term (I've signed Liora up for swimming lessons) and then, at the end of next week, we are moving house. Again. I think this will be the 5th house move since I started the blog. (If I count every place we have lived since leaving South Africa, it's eye watering - this will be he 15th place we live in. I feel a bit sick now.).

Liora will be starting at a new preschool and then it's all about preparation for primary school (an hoping we get into the school we want)  because she turns four in August so it's Primary school in September for my little girl. I cannot believe how time has flown by.

I suppose a little bit of light retrospection is not necessarily a bad thing, even the painful parts. You realise how much you have survived and grown. I feel like I have aged a thousand years and shed a million billion tears. Of heartbreak and sorrow, and immeasurable joy. I have lived and loved and lost and survived it all with the help of my husband and my little team Awesome Gorgeous. 

As an aside, you also realise how much weight you have put on, how much makeup you have bought and how many clothes and shoes you have not bought.

I am amazed that through it all, my blog has remained and has become a part of my life. I was never very good at diary keeping, which explains the huge gaps in this blog, even though this has always been so much more than just an online diary minus the secrecy (there are also more real and difficult reasons for the gaps). I have learned so much about skincare and makeup in the last six years thanks to the blog and I am glad to report that in all this time my skin has not fared too badly.

At the beginning

Today. At 41 no makeup

This blog has basically made me stop ageing, so there is that.

I am mildly amused by the notion that I have tried and struggled so hard over the years to keep the blog focused on beauty, and now, in this moment of self reflection, when I am finally taking it really seriously, I want to evolve it just a little bit.

My next mission is to tackle all things that make you whole. Wait. No. that's not right. I simply want to explore all the bloggy bits that fall under the Lifestyle category and see what happens. I have a yearning to evolve out of the two shoes, jeans and black t-shirt uniform in which I live; not in an extravagant way, but I want to, well, dress like a  grown up for a start.

Also, my mother-in-law is moving in with us soon, and she knows Things. So expect to see a whole series  on How to Adult.  It is, after all, all part of Becoming.

Happy Birthday Little Blog.
Thanks for my skin.

I love you!

Procoal Marine Moisture Mask - My First Sheet Mask Reviewed

It looks bad. I know.

I have no idea what this brand was thinking. I mean, there is literally no reason that this sheet mask needs to be black, and to be honest, the first time I tried it, I was so thoroughly freaked out by it, that I could not enjoy it at all.

Despite that, I did approach the brand and request the sample to review and they were kind enough to agree, to my utter amazement and absolute joy, so I thought it would only be right and fair to give it a second pass.

My background is in journalism so I have this idealistic view that all reviews must be objective, balanced and ruthlessly honest. This was also the first time I was sent something as a blogger, so I was committed to doing a good job.

The brand, Procoal London, is a UK based company founded in 2016. It is well known for its charcoal based tooth whitening products and is consistently bringing out new products to expand its range. One of its more recent launches is a marine serum face mask. The sheet mask, which contains some interesting marine and botanical ingredients, is paraben, mineral oil and cruelty free. It does not, however, contain any actual charcoal ingredients, which is a bit odd considering "charcoal" is literally in the name.

The price, compared to similar products, is quite good for four sheet masks, at £13.99. The company also sent me a 20% off discount code* that expires 12 March, 2019 (T&Cs apply).

I want to point out that I am new to sheet masks, so I am not comparing them to anything I have used before. There were no expectations. With that said, let's break it down.

Caveat - My skin is normal (sometimes tends to be dry, but not right now). it is not dehydrated either. 

Packaging (4 out of 5) 
The packaging is sleek. It' pretty, it's functional; I like it.

First Impressions (3 out of 5)

On a cleansed face and following the instructions closely, I placed the sheet mask on my face. The first thing I noticed is the colour of the mask. It's black. I am not. So it's not the most Instagram friendly look. If you know what I mean. Once you move past the look of the thing, it's actually quite nice.

Feel (4 out of 5) 
The mask feels very nice on the skin. It is soft and moulds easily to the face. I think it is made of paper but feels more like wet felt so it's got a bit of a velvety vibe going. It does not stick very well around the mouth and dried above the top lip rather quickly. I think it was all the breathing, so expect it is not unique to this mask. It is quite cooling which felt very nice, despite the snowy weather. I am sure that it would feel very nice on a congested or inflamed face. Mine is not, so I can only infer.

Scent (3 out of 5)
So this is a bit weird. The first time I used it, the mask smelled of lemon. It was subtle but I did not like it. The subsequent ones did not. I really gave it a good smell test and nothing, so whatever fragrance is in there is so subtle, it will probably not bother those who prefer fragrance free skincare.

Results (4 out of 5)
My skin felt cooled but a bit tight and tacky at first. After the serum dried down, my skin did feel soft and smooth but it did not blow my mind, to be honest.

Ingredients (4 out of 5)
The sheet mask contains 25ml of serum made up of:
Aqua, Butylene Glycol, Glycerin, Lecithin, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Alteromonas Ferment Extract, Panthenol, Hydroxyacetophenone, 1,2-Hexanediol, Sodium Polyacrylate, Phenoxyethanol, Xanthan Gum, Peg-40 Hydrogenated Castor Oil, Hydrolyzed Rice Bran Extract, Fragrance, Citric Acid, Potassium Sorbate, Sodium Benzoate.

Nothing bad in there. No charcoal of any kind though, which is weird considering the name of the thing. A few interesting ingredients.

Website (4 out of 5)
Clear. Transparent. Easy to navigate. All ingredients clearly displayed. For me, one of the most important and telling elements on a website is the contact page - can you call the brand directly or do they have to fill in that annoying form so they can avoid their customers? This site has both, so you can choose how to engage with the brand. I like that a lot. But there are typos, and typos break my pedantic little heart.

Final Thoughts (3.5 out of 5)
I enjoyed this mask. I will test it again when my face is feeling more yuck, to see if  it has more of  an effect. But for now, my face was already in pretty good shape considering the weather and the stress of moving house, so the mask was not earth shattering, but overall it was OK. **

Is it worth it? Yea. I reckon it's worth a go. To buy this mask, or to see the range, visit the Procoal London Website.

*Affiliate link
** That's just my opinion. It is subject to change (or not), based on further testing, changes in skin condition etc. 

January Sales 2019 Part Two - My First Haul of the Year

Pick it up. Put it down. Pick it up. Put it down.

We've all been there; that agonising debate when we are at a sale and we are trying not to get carried away and blow the budget right out of the window. You wander is it really a good deal, is it really cheaper, and most importantly, do I really need it (right now!).

 Well, to be honest, the answer to the last question is generally a loud, resounding NO, whispered into my ear by the metaphorical angel on my one shoulder, masked by the din of a little devil cavorting on the other, convincing me of how much better my immediate future would be with said random item.

In my previous post, I talked about shopping with my girls and what I bought Liora. For myself, I did far more putting down than picking up, only partly, I must confess, due to my prudence and self control. No I have not sworn off consumerism, We are simply moving house soon so it seemed kind of pointless to buy stuff only to have to pack it in box almost immediately. A deal is only a deal if it’s something you need or want without it.

OK. Enough with the drama. Let's get to the good stuff.

From Boots, I got this gift box of Soap and Glory Products for a tenner. I was pretty happy about this because I almost never indulge in body stuff. I have always wanted to try the shower gel because it smells awesome, but I use Original Source shower gel which is much much much much cheaper (and when my stock is finished, I will be moving to a bar of soap because I can reduce my plastic too). Bottom line, the price of the whole box was only marginally more than a whole bottle of the shower gel by itself, so hand cream, shower gel, body butter, body scrub and a pair of bath bombs, Yeah! That'll do.

From Superdrug I bought this little duo. There was a promo where some products were two for £22. At the time, I thought it was a good deal because the Dragons Blood Hyaluronic Shot was more than that on its own. I later discovered that on the brand's own website, the products were on sale for less, so meh for me.

I also picked up a couple of sets of Superdrug makeup brushes, I don't know why. I actually only wanted a fan brush, which I probably could have gotten from elsewhere, wait. This is not a buyer's remorse post! Let's try that again, shall we.

I made a cheeky little purchase of some brushes I didn't quite need, but I am sure I will have fun trying them out and getting back to you about how they rate. There. Better.

I also took a picture. I know my pictures are not great. I like to prattle and write, photography is not my forte. I am working on it though, promise.

I then popped into one of these no name brand beauty shops on my high street and had a little looky loo. Nothing grabbed my attention, except on of those microfibre makeup removing cloths where you just need water. It was about £2 so I had to try it, its my duty to you to try these random things.

Liora wasn't cranky yet, so I had a bit of time left. Imogen is never cranky when she is in her pram; she just watches the world quietly and plots her takeover. I made one more stop, just for fun.

I went Primark and bought things.

Since I bought the random cleansing cloth from the random shop, I obviously had to buy  the mitts to compare.

And then I spotted this collection of novel makeup tools that I thought would be fun to play with, and who can say no to a bit of whimsy? Also Glitter. I am not a huge glitter fan per se, but I thought I would scootch out of my comfort zone and at least give myself a chance to try some. Also, they may be fun to use in blog photos, if I'm brave enough. I was tempted to let Liora have them, but I don't think I will ever be that brave.

Just to recap - there is a two pack of silicone makeup sponges (weird), eye shadow guards, eyeliner, eyebrow and even contour stencils.

I may, or may not use these in a YouTube video, we will see.

So that was my little shopping day with my girls. what  do you think of my purchases?
Which ones do you want to know about?
Let me know in the comments!

Honorable Mention

Items not bought on the day, but in the same time frame

An honourable mention goes to Nip and Fab. The website was running an amazing sale last week with a ton of products reduced to £5. I bought the Glycolic Fix Body Cream and the Dragon's Blood Fix Plumping Serum. Nip and Fab threw in a set of five Glycolic Fix Daily Cleansing pads deluxe for free. Thank you!

The body cream is supposedly a 'dupe' for Ameliorate Transforming Body Lotion which is designed for Keratosis Pilaris, which I have and Liora has. The original is priced at £22.50 which seems a bit eye watering to me, so an alternative at £5 is really worth a try.

The pumping serum was bought so I could get free shipping. (I'm sure it's going to be great.)
Don't judge me, we all do it.

What is the weirdest or most pointless thing you've ever bought to make up a free shipping threshold? (and did it cost more than the shipping cost?)

January Sales 2019 Part One - Liora's First Haul Ever

January sales in the UK are legendary, with many people crossing The Channel to indulge in some great shopping deals from all sorts of retailers from high street to high end.

I am not immune to the siren song of 50% off so I did a little bit of recreational shopping of my own. It all started very innocently - to buy my three year old daughter some of her own makeup so she would leave my stuff alone. There were, however, a few little bits that I could not resist buying for myself.

I did not go mad. I controlled myself a lot. In fact, I did not buy myself any makeup at all. No, I lie; I bought one small thing, but we'll get to that in part two.

First, let’s talk about Liora's first ever (tiny) makeup haul. We went to Boots and it was madness but we kept our cool, especially Liora who was so incredibly well behaved and, I am quite pleased to say, more interested in the other children than the sparkly things on the shelves.

We picked up a set of three ombre eye brushes in a liquid glitter pouch by Skinny Dip.  It's basically all she needs - a flat shader brush, a fluffy domed crease brush and an angled blending brush. The brushes are nice and soft and she L.O.V.E.S them. They were the last ones, sorry. They were £7.50.

We also found another 'last on the shelf' item - the Unicorns Want to be Me makeup palette by Missguided.

The shadows are quite pigmented, in my view, and quite soft, so we have a minor glitter everywhere problem, right now. Liora is having a great time using her lovely brushes to apply shimmery makeup all around her eyes, so she can look like Disco Raccoon. Needless to say, she does not have free reign and only gets them when I have the strength to deal.

Anyway, moving swiftly along, we have an additional palette that was bought based on price alone -
£4.25 after a 50% discount for the Colours by technic 48 shadow palette. At that price, you can't really go wrong, well, you can, if you, like, have a massive allergic reaction or something, but failing that, no, less than a fiver for 48 shadows is a pretty good deal.

This palette is not for now. It is for when the other one gets finished or dropped or destroyed in some other manner. It has a nice variety of colours, which, to my mind are not very pigmented, but for a three year old, I am OK with that. 

What makeup do your kids have? Do you even approve? Let me know in the comments!

On to part two!

Goals for 2019 - Back to Basics

I feel inspired.

I just joined a few new Facebook groups for makeup lovers and it took reading exactly one post to fire up my imagination.

Let's be honest, this blog has been going for five years, but has been flagging for an awfully long time. Without focus or inspiration, it floated around with nowhere to go.

Now, in 2019, I have recommitted myself to making this blog thrive and grow. I  know that I have a voice that is rather different from most of those around and I am going to own it. I am not an expert. I am not a guru. I just have an interest and love for skincare and cosmetics, and I am pretty good at looking things up and making them make sense.

So what's on the agenda for 2019?

To start with, I think it is valuable to know where I am, skin wise. I am slightly out of routine at the moment, and I can feel it. While, as a rule, I have reasonably problem-free skin, it is not in it's best, soft and smooth condition at the moment, which could isn't actually a bad thing for the blog, I suppose. It has a tendency to be normal to dry but gets dehydrated really easily. It is over 40 so it is starting to wrinkle a little but no too much, thankfully.

That being said, I will try to be as informative as possible regarding all sorts of skin types and conditions.

I have very long, dark brown curly hair. It has no artificial colour in it and I have very few greys.

The last time I cut my hair I donated it. That was in 2015.

I bite my nails and have desperately horrible cuticles. The problem gets better and worse, but never quite goes away. The only way I can control it is by painting my nails.

I have two daughters. My three-year old is already obsessed by eye shadow and nail polish.

Where do we go from here?

It is hard to achieve things if you don't have goals. So let's make a few in the belief that we will achieve at least some of them.

Social Media Reviews
I love YouTube. For better or worse, I can lose hours watching video after video. So I do plan to have a regular post on who I'm watching and loving... and who is no longer relevant to me. I would love for you to share your favourites with me. Are you an Instafiend? Tell me whose Instagram you follow, or any other platform for that matter!

Skincare Basics
I am not a skincare expert, but I have learned a few things and I have many resources I can use to give you as much information as I can.

I would like to do some posts on skincare routines:
Where to start for the older newbie and for the younger ones too
What are the important elements you need to include in your routine
Where to go next and how to introduce new elements and steps
And some products to try, obviously

Makeup Tricks and Techniques you Need to Know

I hope to make this a regular feature. I don't have any yet, but I will collect them like little gems and let them loose on my readers in batches, properly attributed, of course. 

Products 

Whether it's shopping my stash, looking at ingredients, news on new products or just plain product reviews, no beauty blog is complete without this lovely bit, so expect some. 

Off-Topic

I think I will keep this around and see how we go. I have an invisible little soap-box I like to climb on from time to time and some life updates I like to share. I also think this space is a good place to explore things like fashion, weight loss, and other bits and pieces. I plan to do a hair cut and donation again this year so I will be exploring some hair treatments to get my hair into tip top shape before the big cut.

What do you think?

Let me know what you're excited about for 2019. Send me your burning questions and I will gladly do the work and get your answers. 

A Body Brush for Small Hands

The other day, I spent some online time with my new YouTube bestie, Nadine Baggott.

Specifically, I was watching one of the Beauty Hags videos where they talk about beauty hacks.

I quite liked the idea of dry body brushing and thought I would give it a try. If you are unfamiliar with the concept, body brushing stimulates blood flow, removes dry skin, supports good lymphatic drainage and is actually quite good for people who are on the Autism spectrum, or who, like me, have other sensory conditions like Sensory Integration Disorder.  As far as I understand, the method is quite simple; just brush towards your heart. 

I baulked at the price of the recommended brush, so went in search of an Iris priced body brush online. I found a variety of options but finally settled on one that I thought would suite me.

I have small hands so I always have to be mindful of the size of these sorts of products. The product can be lovely but if I can't hold it, it's kind of pointless really.

The H&S branded two pack of body brushes I found on Amazon for £5.99 was exactly what I needed.

They are round, made of bamboo and the perfect level of firmness for me, which is a little bit firmer than a baby's hair brush but less than a nail brush. Also they don't shed. I have not tried them wet but I've tried them for dry brushing on my arms and legs and Mr C brushed my back for me. It felt incredible. It really worked well to get rid of dry skin on my back, and being of a generally itchy disposition, it really hit the spot on that front too. I have keratosis pilaris on my arms and I saw immediate improvement after one use. My skin felt softer and less bumpy. 

I am very impressed with the quality! 

Taking Stock

2018 was a year filled with upheaval, change and stress. As I look back, I marvel, as we all do, at how fast it has flown by. I am amazed at my girls, now two, rather than the one and only child who healed my heart.

I look at how far Liora has come; learning to share her family, her toys and her mommy milky. I see her sister crawling around after her wanting to play with her. At eight months, Imogen is all love and smiles ans silky softness. Unlike Liora, Imogen did not inherit my keratosis pilaris.

Liora started preschool just before her sister was born. She began with two days a week and progressed to three as soon as she turned three. She is now at school full time. To think that she will start reception (primary school) in September, is a step too far.

Our home has been teetering on the verge of chaos all year and my anxiety and self recrimination have been at an all-time high. I have put on a lot of weight and feel Ugly. However, I do waiver between self-loathing, self-pity and a kind of soft sadness about it all with a desire to be kind to the little battered person within. My husband loves me, my kids adore me so I should really work harder at self-care and compassion.

Liora has developed a love of nail polish and makeup (eye shadow). She has also encouraged me to do my routine, after being shown what that was. It is both lovely and a little bit sad to be encouraged by one's three year old. I guess it doesn't matter where the push / inspiration comes from, as long as I do something.

In order to maintain some level of sanity, I though it would be a good idea to get the child her own makeup brushes and eye shadow palette. I now have mixed feelings on the experiment. It is messy, but on the whole, rather harmless.

After more than a year of inactivity on the skincare / makeup front, I feel like I have woken up from a long sleep and I have a lot of makeup and skincare I need to use. So, although I have missed a year of new releases and lovely temptations, I will be "shopping my stash" until further notice. There are one or two new things I may buy when they are released. Nadine Baggott mentioned one in her YouTube video, but other than that, I will be holding back as much as possible.

I am looking forward to 2019 with some understandable trepidation (we are moving house. Liora is starting school.) but with a great deal of excitement over what the future holds. Our girls are growing up and I am enjoying every step of the process.

A Post About Loss

For the last maybe 10 years, Mr C's father had Dementia with Lewy bodies. 

It is the most heartbreaking illness. 

Norman and new-born Liora

Norman Cheerin passed away on December 2, 2018. He was 75.

I wanted to write a little post to acknowledge his life and the loss his family is feeling.

To be perfectly honest, this was originally supposed to be part of my Taking Stock post which reviewed 2018. I wanted to mention his passing briefly so as to not cause more pain to those who knew him and might read it but it was impossible. 

The more I wrote, the more I realised there was no way I could just mention it and move on, also, how do you transition from such sad news to anything else. So I decided it was best to have a dedicated post to him.  

I only met Norman in 2002 but was instantly drawn to his wit and to his manner. His relationship with his son was amazing to me, who had a challenging one with my own dad.

He was a hilarious, kind and gentle man, adored by his wife of 50 years and loved and respected by his children. He loved woodwork, music and photography. He loved reading and knowledge and was just basically one of the good ones. He showed my Mr C how to be a husband and father, and did an incredible job. 

It has been very tough on Mr C. He was very close to his father and despite watching the decline, he was not prepared for the outcome. He is suffering and I wish I could reach his heart and make it better, but at the same time, his pain is a testament to the man his father was.

Most people dread their in-laws. I do not. I love them. I am one of the lucky ones. I hope that I am able to do justice to Norman with this small mention and that his family will find the space and time to heal and remember with fondness this man they were so lucky to have grown with.