I am More than One Thing

Now that Baby is here, I find myself completely focused on her and her needs. This is normal, natural and I have no problem with it at all.

It is a lovely, wonderful thing, lack of sleep not withstanding.

The thing is, now that baby is a little older and sleeping a little longer, I am suddenly inspired to write, mainly about baby stuff. But I don't want to give up on the beauty and skincare thing. I still love that too.

So, even though I was contemplating changing the focus of this blog, I gave the idea a moment's thought and decided not to, and rather grow the focus. As I have grown, so shall the blog. As I can be more than one thing, so can the blog.

Having said all that, my skin has taken a serious back seat lately and an even more serious beating.

Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing and I wouldn't change it for anything, but it does require conscientious hydration. If you don't drink enough water, your skin will become dull, dry and Itchy. All. Over!

I am terrible at drinking enough water as it is and while I was super good when we first started, once we got used to it, and the weather got colder, my drinking habits have really taken a nosedive.

It also does not help that my routine is out the window. I am still trying to get to the place where showering every day is a possibility, so forget about morning and night skincare routine.

Fear not! I will redouble my efforts and drink more (or so I tell myself regularly), while I look fondly set my face mask in the vain hope that I will find a gap to use it.

When it comes to makeup, I have some really nice things to try, including an Urban Decay palette, but when your skin feels crap and you don't really go anywhere... You get the idea. (I do want to go on a lipstick binge soon and haul some. So pass on some recommendations!)

Don't even ask me about hair and nails. I stopped painting my nails when I got pregnant and have not done them since. No drinking also means dry, brittle nails so they remain short ( plus I don't want to scratch the baby). When they look better, they will be treated better. (hair is another story.)

So although I will be writing about beauty stuff, I have little in the way of good news to report right now.

I am tempted to try all the body products I have and never use, now that I come to think of it. Let's see how we go.

I'll keep you posted.

See ya.

Parenting is Scary

Parenting, I thought, would be a sinch.

Surely it can't be that complicated. I mean, it's been done billions of times.

At the end of the day, it isn't complicated; it is simply the most terrifying experience of my life.

From the moment I knew my girl was there, I feared for her. Having lost her sister, I knew that her pregnancy would be full of anxiety. Little did I know that my levels of fear were amateurish in comparison with what was to come.

Don't get me wrong, I am figuring this parenting thing out and I am trying not to be too judgemental at myself, but I am not good with failure and I thought this would be a little more straight forward. I did after all help a lot with my brother when he was born.

They say it will be different with your own, but you never quite believe it until you spend the whole night awake, while she is happily sleeping away, just because you are terrified of losing her to SIDS or any other of the myriad horrors that can take one's precious infant away.

I try to be level headed, but when my little rainbow cries she looks so terribly sad, that I spend much of my time ensuring that she is happy and contented, while trying to figure out this whole mystical routine everyone keeps banging on about.

I am trying to get her to sleep in her own bed (or just sleep). I am currently trying a combination of either a swaddleme or a growbag. Both have their advantages and challenges, mainly that she isn't a huge fan of either, but I need to keep her warm and out of trouble. This baby flails around like an Olympic backstroke swimmer, kicking off blankets and freaking herself out in the process. I can only swaddle her once she is asleep, or she fights it. Once she is alseep and in it, she is calm and warm and it's all okay.

On top of the physical issues, there are all those pesky psychological concerns; I do not want to raise her to be a bully or spoiled or a homicidal maniac. Neither do I want her to be an introverted, anxious, door mat.

I do not spend all my time overthinking like this.

I spend my time feeding, changing and trying to figure out when and how often to do what, like bathing or play / tummy time, especially in this next phase of my daughter's life (She is now 3 months old).

It was easy when all she did was eat and sleep, but now, she spends more time awake and in need of stimulation and entertainment.

This is where I worry about doing the right thing and keeping her mind occupied and growing along with her body.

I love my kid and I want her to be happy and well cared for. I just hope I am doing everything I can to get her that, and not leaving anything out. (I have already missed out on getting her hand and feet prints and getting her those cute milestone cards for photos - and those are just the things I am aware of).

What are your fears?
What are the things you always try and do or remember?

Big Ideas and Failed Plans

During my pregnancy, I had the bright idea to take pictures daily to document my growth.

With this, that and the next thing, (mostly being tired, feeling unwell and forgetting) there are many missed days - Many. but I do believe that, while I doubt I will be able to make one of those cool age progression videos, I have enough to document the pregnancy well.

I also have a nice amount of scans as we got pictures every two weeks or so.

I also wanted to do the daily picture of baby but so far, I have not remembered to do it. I mean, I have taken a bunch of photos, but just quick snaps on my phone, rather than doing it properly.

Once all the family has gone home, I will probably start on the project. I don't feel that losing two months is an overwhelming crisis.

I wrote this last year and the baby will be 10 months old this week. Talk about failed plans. It seems that for someone as disorganised as me, life just gets on top of you and you never get things done.

The daily pics never happened. The milestone pics never happened. The hand prints never happened. We managed some 6 - 7 month foot prints. I recommend doing these in the first week when babies sleep a lot and don't wriggle too much. I'm not exactly sure what to do now...

I will get there. I live in hope or is it denial.
Keeping up with house work is tough but that has less to do with baby and more to do with me.

Since I last blogged, we have moved out of the awful nightmare house into a nice and cozy house with no damp.

Unpacking and organising is a bit tough when your space is limited, but we are nearly there. We are making this space a home like we couldn't with the last one.

I am still adamant that I will make some youtube videos, but I have to figure out what and how to do it with little miss mover and shaker wanting to touch all of creation and put it in her mouth. Every time I set up the tripod she's like Cool something to stand against... Oh no wait, it's moving.

Her sleep routine is improving and we are getting away from her napping on me for hours so we may eventually be able to get somewhere during baby naps.

Don't get me wrong. She is the most incredible human and the absolute love of my life so all this other stuff is just white noise. As long as she is happy I don't really care about anything else. (Deep down, that is - on the surface, I suffer from daily , almost paralyzing anxiety, which irritates me no-end)

I just had a little moment at 2 am to do a quick update on my phone, so no pics and if there are typos, that is the reason.

I am going to attempt some sleep now.
Good night.

Also, kidney stone removal op yesterday. Pain levels today 6-8. Not fun. Paracetamol and codeine help, even the little doses I take that will let me continue breastfeeding.

That is all.