The year Mr C turns 40; the year of change; the year of motherhood!
I am very excited about all of this and, of course, mildly terrified. The responsibility of motherhood weighs heavily on me, and I do realise that the consequences of making mistakes can either be completely insignificant and substantially grave. Basically, I do not want to mess up my kid.
The hormones have put me in an amazing emotional space of simple happiness, something I am generally not accustomed to since my chemistry generally leans to blue. It could also be that I have wanted a child for so long and thought it was so thoroughly out of reach that I am in pure bliss over it and occasionally cannot believe my luck. this is unlikely to ever change. I have been with Mr C for 11 year (married for 6) and sometimes I still can't believe it's really real and I am so blessed and lucky.
As far as symptoms go, I still have ongoing nausea and tiredness, but to be perfectly honest, other than the physical discomfort at the moment of actual vomiting, I really, really do not care at all about the symptoms; not even a little bit. I am incubating a human. I am having a baby. I am creating a brand new person. Who cares if I feel a bit icky in the process. The pay-off is spectacular.
A few days ago, we went to a consultant (an obstetrician) appointment. I asked her if she could let us hear the Bean's heartbeat. She politely complied and it was amazing and adorable. This tiny little heart beating hard and strong at a million miles a minute.
We also discussed my symptoms and she offered me anti-nausea meds - I refused. I am not a martyr, but I really don't think it is necessary to mask symptoms, and not that I am judging, but to me, it feels a bit selfish to take meds, unless you are really very sick (I am talking nausea here, not flu).
We have a cardiac scan appointment booked in February (my sister had a thing when she was pregnant, so they like to be extra careful when there is a family history of any kind).
So far everything is normal and perfect and awesome. I am starting to show, even through the fat tummy and we love having a 3-person cuddle at bed time. In fact, Mr C generally falls asleep with hand on baby. It's too sweet. The cat is occasionally drafted into the family cuddle, much to her chagrin.
So what does the new year hold for me?
I do not make resolutions; it's not really my thing, but I have decided to make some changes.
I will take a leaf out of +Fleur DeForce's book - she says she makes lists on Sundays and plans out her week. There is no doubt that she is busier than me, but I am lazier than her and could do with some forward planning. So, be more organised. Also, something Mr C and I have already started is be more healthy and eat better (I must cook more) - It's not easy and the wagon is quite rickety but we are trying and we will keep trying. Lastly, exercise - I really need to do this one - the slipped disc I had and the subsequent back operation have left me at pretty much the most unfit I have ever been.
That's pretty much it, really.
My next midwife appointment is at the end of January and in February, we have the 20 week scan, the foetal cardiac scan and consultant follow up appointment scheduled.
It's all getting quite busy now and also quite hard to not buy baby things. Some baby things are irresistible, but so far, so well behaved - we only window shop/ research.
I wish you all a very healthy and happy 2014. I'm really looking forward to this one. I just need to figure out what to do for Mr C's 40th - I want to make it special.